AKA: Alisa Landeel; Alys Brangwin
As seen in: Phantasy Star (Master System)
Also in: Phantasy Star Gaiden (Game Gear)
Distinguishing feature: Wearing a bright pink skirt with plate mail.
Strengths: Diplomacy, regicide, and opposable thumbs.
Weaknesses: Loose morals and evil wizards.

Profile by Jake Alley? | December 5, 2009

Welcome back. Before the break, we were discussing the brutal crimes of Nero "The Blade" Landale, who authorities at the time claimed may have been personally responsible for over 50 murders in what some call "Nero's Rebellion" before being gunned down in his Camineet home by two of the most decorated robotcops ever to serve. But the most infamous member of the notorious Landale crime family was of course his sister, Alis.

Alis started out as a small-time hood, trading in illegal scorpion tails and owlbear wings. These of course being two of the main ingredients found in Parmanian Naulaloaf, known on the street as "cake" or "shortcake." While the local authorities were never able to get a conviction on those charges, Alis knew it was only a matter of time before she'd be caught if she didn't move her operation offworld.

After obtaining a passport under the assumed name "Alyssa Brangwin," Alis headed off to Motavia. Not wanting to reveal her identity too early by resuming the drug trade, Alis began her Motavian operations as a smuggler, exchanging rare Palmanian antiquities for exotic pets and alsulin, a rare medicine which, while legal on Motavia, had yet to be approved by the Palman Drug Council, or PDC. Through these dealings, Alis made very powerful connections with the native Motavian "spice" farmers and then leader of the notorious terrorist organization LUTZ, which is still taking credit for the assassinations of major religious and political leaders to this day. It was around this time Alis began to develop a paranoid outlook, never traveling anywhere without an entourage which included infamous mob enforcer, Odin "The Axe" Labowski.

The Motavian syndicate could never have formed if not for the assistance of Motavian governor Matthew Sanders. Governor Sanders was a well-known shortcake addict with strong ties to the criminal underworld and a vested interest in any operation that would make it easier to get his fix. Most now suspect that it was in fact Governor Sanders who orchestrated the assassination of King Lassic, just so that the resulting confusion would leave Palman officials too busy to do anything about the drug trade.

After bringing her interplanetary operation to a level of success that allowed her to secure her own personal shuttle, Alis declared open war against the other Palman Families, personally leading raids which ended in the murders of Dr. Robert "Mad" Martigan and Medussa Galesby. Authorities were stunned, but no closer to an arrest. Then one day, a guard at a routine checkpoint outside Baya Malay made one of the most serendipitous arrests of all time. An earlier raid on a pawn shop in the slums of Scion revealed one of the most elaborate forgery operations the planet had ever seen. After interrogating the proprietor and searching through his files, a list was uncovered of every false name he had ever imprinted on a counter-fit roadpass, including Alyssa Brangwin, the name found on Alis Landale's passport.

Unfortunately, while Alis was indicted on charges of identity theft and defrauding a federal agency, shortly after her incarceration, she managed to escape from prison. Shortly thereafter, the king of Palma was dead. Witnesses claim not only to have seen Alis and crew fleeing the scene, but also meeting with Governor Sanders in his office in Paseo shortly thereafter. Thanks to the Governor's successful coup, Landale was never again brought to justice.

But the story doesn't end there. Many claim that the notorious mercenary Alys "Eight Stroke" Brangwin (currently wanted in connection with the murder of Zio Sullivan, a well-respected community organizer from Kadary) may in fact be Alis Landale herself. Sounds far-fetched that a two thousand year old criminal may still be in operation? Perhaps so. However, one must consider the testimony of Rolf the Mad, the terrorist responsible for the great Parman tragedy which rocked the entire system one thousand years ago. Before his execution, Rolf admitted not only to being inspired by the life of Alis Landale, but also to having strong ties with LUTZ. Rolf claimed his contact within the organization was the very same Noah Antwerp who played a key role in Landale's Motavian syndicate, preserved for centuries through the use of cryogenics. If these claims are true, and LUTZ has access to functioning cryogenics technology, one cannot dismiss that Landale may indeed have used it to elude those out to avenge the murdered king, not to mention any retaliatory strikes from the other Palman families. We may never know the real answer, but historians are still searching for evidence of Alis' life after her most famous crime. Until next week, this has been A History of Crime. Good night, and stay safe.

GameSpite Quarterly 3 | Previous: Alfred Chicken | Next: Alucard