As seen in: Captain Comic (NES)
Distinguishing feature: None.
Strengths: None.
Weaknesses: Existence.

Profile by Jeremy Parish | December 24, 2009

"Hey, kid. Oh, I see you brought a complete boxed copy of the game with ya. Ain't seen one of these in person for a while. They're not scarce or nothin', I see 'em on eBay going for a few bucks all the time. Just no one bothers. The economy being what it is these days, kinda tough to blow any money on a crummy old NES game. Yeah, I got no illusions. So the cart was baby blue, yeah, big deal. It's what inside that counts, ain't that the saying?

"Anyway, you're alright by me, kid. Oh, ya want me to sign that? Yeah, no problem. Five bucks. Hey, don't gimme that look. You're an alright kid, but the economy being what it is these days, I gotta make a living somehow. Tell ya what, I'll sign both the box and cart for ya, no extra charge. Cool? Alright, hand it here.

"Heh, I tell ya, seeing this thing sure takes me back. You know, I'm not even a real captain? Not a military man by training, and I sure never flown no spaceship. Truth be told, I was just some guy who worked at a magazine stand next door to the building where this company made games. Sold newpapers for a living.

"So where did the name Captain Comic come from? I can see the question on yer face, right? Well, it's a funny ol' thing. They decided midway through the project that the game's original working title, 'Space Punch,' sounded too much like a party drink or somethin'. 'We should name the game after its hero,' they decided. 'Like Amagon or The Adventures of Lolo and that sort of thing.' But then they realized they hadn't actually given me a name, so they just decided on a generic superhero moniker, like Captain America. Captain Cosmic, they were gonna call me.

"Anyway, turns out there's a National Registry for Heroic Aliases or something like that, can you believe it? When word got out about our game -- and I gotta say, I have no idea how those NRHA folks found out about us, 'cause Color Dreams was pretty much the definition of 'fly by night' -- when word got out, they threatened to file a suit against us. Pretty lousy of 'em, in my opinion. Turned out there was already a Captain Cosmic. And a Cap'n Cosmic. And a Captain Cosmos. A Captain Cosmo, too -- I think he was a spokesman for some gin distillery, if you can believe that. What a trip. But yeah, any variant they could think of, it was filled.

"So finally I says to 'em, really as a joke more than anything, I says, 'Why not call me Captain Comic?' I sold comics at my newsstand, ya know, so it was kind of an inside reference, a little wink to my regulars. I figured they'd laugh and suggest Captain Spaceman or something, but nope. They looked at each other for a sec and shrugged and said, 'Why not?' That was the tight ship Color Dreams ran back then. Really put their hearts into their work.

"Anyway, so the next day -- oh, yeah, sorry, here's your game back. Yeah, it was nice meeting you, too. Oh, you don't wanna hearů? Sorry, sorry, forget I said anything, just an old man forgettin' his place. You take good care of that, ya here? It's a collector's item. Not too many kids can say they got their games signed by the real Captain Comic. Yeah, you take care now, and enjoy the con."

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