First Appearance: Marble Madness (Atari, ARC, 1984)
M.O.: Pushing; shoving; shattering
Nature of demise: Pushing; shoving; shattering

Profile by Jeremy Signor? | February 6, 2011

Red and Blue are ordinary teenage marbles just like you. They roll down the local ramp to get to school every day. They hang out with a wide variety of primary colors and have some good clean fun. And they take the local catapult back home safe and sound without associating with the bad seeds of the neighborhood. Let’s watch to see how they handle the threat of one of the most harmful substances to marblekind.

“Hey kid! Want a hit of orbium? It’ll make you feel goooood.”
“No thanks!”
“What are ya? Round?”
“No way! Those that would take that stuff are the real rounds!”

Atta boy, Blue! You see, Blue and Red know the consequences of taking orbium. Color fading. Cracks in their surfaces. Melting into an acidic puddle. Mutating into a mindless slinky-like creature. But worst of all, they’d be visited by those daring keepers of the peace, those brave upholders of the law, BLACK.

Yes, BLACK. These noble marbles patrol the grid for ruffians and ne’er-do-wells, ensuring the safety of each stage. No drug deals go down on BLACK’s watch, no sir. So what happens to someone who breaks the rules on BLACK’s watch? It looks like we’re about to find out.

What’s this? Red and Blue have decided to engage in a seemingly good-natured race to the end of the stage. What could possibly go wrong? Shattered bystanders. Destruction of property. Unsightly stains on the grid from their melted remains. Watch as the local BLACK officer intercepts the misguided youths and dispatches justice. What does this mean? Shattering their worthless, degenerate bodies into pieces, of course. It is only right and just that those who don’t follow the status quo be stamped out of existence for the good of decent marbles like you and me.

Remember, kids: Do the right thing. Submit to BLACK.

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