First Appearance: Mega Man (Capcom, NES, 1987)
Vwoop: Vwoop... vwoop... vwoop... vwoop
Weaknesses: Nothing can stop their relentless appearance and disappearing. Nothing.

Profile by Jake Alley? | February 23, 2011

They’re close now. Listen, can you hear it? It’s the most harrowing sound in the world. Sort of a “zjwuuuuuhhh... zjwuuuuuhhh... zjwuuuuuhhh.” That’s the sound of your impending death.

Oh, they seem nice. They seem like your friends! Helpful little platforms appearing right where they’re needed, forming a nice little bridge for you over those deadly pits, but it’s all a ruse! A deception to lure you into a false sense of security. Don’t trust them! Never trust them!

Sure, at first they appear in logical places. A quick hop up here, then over to here; it all looks very straightforward. Just when you think you see the pattern though, that’s when they spring the trap. You’re standing on one block, patiently waiting for the next, when suddenly, there it is. Directly above your head. Oh, if you’d known it was coming, you could have leapt in anticipation, landing safely on the top, but no. No, it deceived you. Now your salvation lies directly above, but there’s simply no way to reach it. You’re doomed! Doomed to fall! Be cast down into the pit, or a fiery sea of magma! Or perhaps they’ll use a different tactic. A block will appear off to one side. You’ll hop to it, never suspecting it could mean you harm, but this too is a trap. The others will all vanish, leaving you alone. The path they form veers off in the other direction. It will be too late, though; you’ve made your choice. The block you chose to stand on was a patsy! A tarted-up whore sent to lure you away from the righteous path! Soon it will abandon you to your doom.

Learn that sound, friend. Learn to fear it. Lest of course... oh. You have the Rush Jet? Well then, you can probably just fly over the whole thing no problem. Sorry to have wasted your time.


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