Games | Weekly Game Releases | Week of January 22nd, 2008: I'm confused. We have very few releases this week, but two of them are really good. Which two? You'll have to figure that out for yourself.

List compiled by reibeatall and Sarcasmorator | Posted January 21st, 2008

Game of the week | Burnout Paradise

The next (and rather controversial) version of the Burnout franchise arrives Tuesday. Some of us are already planning on getting this, while others are upset by things they've taken out. You should know the drill at this point: Drive fast, crash into cars, make other cars crash. But this time, it's set in an open world where every intersection is an event, and connecting online with up to seven other people is almost seamless. I'll probably spend hours just driving around. Probably trying to one-up that bastard Gredlen.

Also appearing in stores

Advance Wars: Days of Ruin
Another change to a loved series, Days of Ruin throws away the happy-go-lucky "Ohh look, we're at war" feelings and visuals of the previous Advance Wars games and instead offers up more gritty rawness ... well, as gritty and raw as an E10+ game can get. The unit mix has been tweaked and adjusted to a bit, and CO powers are handled differently as well. If you like Advance Wars, you should like this game. Plus, it has online multiplayer where you can use the microphone and chat while you get slaughtered by a far better strategist. Who's probably, like, 10. That alone is worth it, in my opinion.

No More Heroes
Ahh, Suda 51's stylish new game for Wii. You play as Travis Touchdown, who wins a lightsaber in an online auction and then decides to use it to kill assassins. Isn't that what anyone would do with a lightsaber? It didn't sell very well in Japan, and from the looks of things I don't think it will do much better on this side of the pond. I really hope it does, though. If the Wii needs anything, it's a serious, successful third-party game that's not a remake. Otherwise the system is doomed to mini-game collections forever.

One Piece: Unlimited Adventure
So, here we have an anime-licensed adventure game for the Wii. Does anybody here actually think it will be worth the purchase if you're not a fan? Anyone?
Yeah, didn't think so.

Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games
Now we're treated to the DS version of the crossover game from hell. The kids seemed to like the Wii version, raking in over half a million units sold during December, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this version will sell even more.

Endless Ocean
This... uhh... game is also coming out this week. We're not really sure where this belongs in the casual-to-hardcore spectrum of games. All you really do is swim around a seemingly endless ocean (get it?) looking at various underwater creatures. I don't think there are sharks to kill you. There's no time limit. No levels. No sense of urgency. There isn't a goal, except exploring this watery world. Every creature you encounter will then add a little page in your creature book for you to learn about. So, basically, this is truly a game with no goals besides enhancing your smartiness, or the ones you set for yourself.

Talk about how crappy these games are!