As seen in: Hydlide (NES)
Also in: Your saddest nightmares
Distinguishing feature: His indistinct genericness.
Strengths: Running into things.
Weaknesses: Running into things head-on.


Profile by Jeremy Parish? | January 22, 2011


In the annals of history, many heroes have lengthy entries describing their bold feats, their impressive ambitions, their mighty appearance. In the annals of history, many heroes are immortalized through word for generations to remember. In the annals of history, one hero's entry reads, simply, "Just another role-playing warrior." In the annals of history, that nobody is… Jim.

As befits a champion by such an unassuming name, Jim was truly unremarkable but for his ability to die, repeatedly. And he didn't even die with grace or style. No, Jim lacked a skill or style or sensibility to call his own. In the Missed Connections personal ad of life, he was the guy sitting next to the handsome fellow the lonely-hearted lady author dreamed of meeting again. In the soda can of history, he was the last dregs, more backwash than beverage. And so on.

Bartleby's Big Damn Book of Heroes (widely regarded by scholars as the world's most thorough appendix to the annals of history) does include an extended rumination on Jim -- though hardly a flattering one:

"Jim belonged to the Adol Christin school of combat, versed in the ability to run headlong into an enemy in order to pummel the foe into submission with a deceptively precise sort of recklessness. Unfortunately, Jim never quite mastered the art to the level of Christin; while that red-headed hero has gone on to great repute and commands an enduring legacy, Jim is generally reviled by all who know of him. It probably doesn't help that he had a habit of constantly humming an off-key rendition of the Indiana Jones theme everywhere he went, by one account 'irritating the living hell out of everyone unfortunate enough to make his acquaintance.'"


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