As seen in: Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (NES)
Also in: Punch-Out!! (Wii)
Distinguishing feature: Really, really small
Strengths: Sticking and moving
Weaknesses: Most other boxers' fists are twice the size of his head.

Profile by David Goldberg? | February 21, 2011

Young children can be cruel. In an effort to fit in and find acceptance in the world, they will often criticize those different from them, scapegoating them and marking them as outsiders. Such was the lot of Little Mac. Being a "little person," he was mercilessly teased by the kids on the playground. His predilection for pink jumpsuits didn't help any. At one point, he could no longer deal with the constant provocations of the other school children and lashed out, fighting back. Despite his size, he had uncanny strength, and though he was eventually overwhelmed by the other children, he broke the rib of one and required another to have six stitches above his eye. In counseling, he was urged to channel his rage into more productive means. At the counselor's office, he ran into Doc Louis. Their lives changed forever.

Louis, not very tall himself, had enjoyed a successful career as a heavyweight boxer. He had retired, but not without developing a crippling addiction to pain killers which he never quite managed to kick despite being out of boxing for many years. It was for this reason that he too was in counseling; thus he and Mac happened to be in the same waiting room and struck up a conversation.

Louis saw something of himself in Little Mac, and upon hearing of his playground exploits, realized that the kid had talent. Louis began to teach Mac everything he knew about boxing. Mac was taught to make speedy jumping jabs and to give a devastating leaping uppercut. Using the same techniques that had given Doc Louis his success, Mac fought many amateur fights until, at age 17, he finally broke into the WVBA Minor Circuit.

Mac moved through the ranks of the WVBA at an astounding pace. Despite most opponents towering over him, he was able to cut them down to size. Sadly, by this point Louis' pain-killer addiction (and head trauma sustained during his boxing career) had reduced him to saying incoherent drivel such as, "Dancin' like a fly, bite like a mosquito!" and "Join the Nintendo Fun Club today!" as often as he could give Mac advice. Still, Little Mac defeated all comers.

The newspaper headlines at the time told the story:

"Glass Joe retires after first round KO from Little Mac"

"Honda's giant fists no match for Mac's power"

"Little Mac knocks out Flamenco and his toupée"

"King Hippo pursues Saturday morning cartoon job after loss"

"Rumors of performance-enhancing magic no help for Tiger"

"Mac runs with Bull, defeats him"

"Popinski rumored to have fought Little Mac while drunk"

"Macho Man not so super after pounding from Little Mac"

Mac never stopped to question why he was fighting opponents that vastly outweighed him. He never wondered why they had such ridiculous tells and telegraphed their punches so obviously. He never thought it strange that he couldn't be sure whether he'd fought the dream fight against a mentally unstable black man from Catskills, New York or a mohawked white supremacist from some place known only as "Dreamland." All he knew is that he fell, and fell hard.

When Mac came to, he was told that he was lucky to be alive. Fighting opponents with so much power had taken its toll on his body and the last hit had nearly collapsed his lung. Little Mac retired, happy in the knowledge that he had shown that he was just as strong as anyone normal-sized and finally putting to rest the demons of the children that tormented him on the playground.

His defeat in the dream fight still lingers in his mind, taunting him as the one that got away. To this day, there are still rumors that he will come out of retirement. One can only wonder what Mac could accomplish a second time around.

GameSpite Quarterly 3 | Previous: Link | Next: Little Nemo