Games | Nintendo GameCube

Animal Crossing: For a brief while, these little babbling animal people were my friends. It was a sad time in my life.

Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles: Didn't you know that we all sprouted from the Mushroom Forest? That makes the Malboro your daddy. Awww...

Mega Man Network Transmission: Capcom still thinks that video games are for sadists after all these years.

Metroid Prime: It's a lot like Super Metroid, except in 3D. And boring.

Mr. Driller: Drill Land: Welcome to the exciting underground!

Pikmin: I will probably never have children, but thanks to Pikmin I can't satisfy my paternal instincts anyway. Well, the instincts that don't mind sacrificing a few dozen of my kids to defeat Emperor Bulbax. God, I'm totally going to jail, aren't I?

Super Mario Sunshine: Nowhere near the work of genius that Mario 64 was...but still pretty great. Memo to haters: you suck.