As seen in: Crystalis (NES)
Distinguishing feature: Wears more purple than Prince.
Strengths: Good with weapons.
Weaknesses: Dependent on level-ups, but slow to gain experience.


Profile by Jeremy Parish | February 1, 2010


The apocalypse destroyed countless records of the old world, and reconstructing the full nature of humanity's prior civilization has been a task that's long daunted the most capable historians. Even the presence of a survivor of the old days—placed in cryogenic sleep before the End Day—has done little to shed illumination on the past, as the extended length of his slumber caused seemingly irreconcilable damage to his memory. One thing's certain, though: They had some pretty weird ideas about fashion back before the fatal year 1997.

Simea, who was placed into sleep as a last-ditch resource in the event of a cataclysm, awoke in our world dressed in a flamboyant outfit of bright purple, sporting a headband and clothes accented with a strange, stretchy material he called "Spandex." While he couldn't speak to the nature of these clothes, he demonstrated a curious propensity for running in place for extended periods. Despite his own puzzlement over his action, he vaguely recalled the word "fitness."

Certainly Simea was fit to be a hero: He traveled the world, uncovering lost weapons and tools that ultimately helped him make his way through the defenses surrounding both the mutant lord Draygon and a strange disembodied golem called "DYNA." Their destruction, he said, would allow humanity to rebuild its civilization on its own terms.

And his noble feats have not gone unremembered. Men, women, and children the world over sing his praises and aspire to share his heroism. But there's a tacit understanding that none of us ever want to dress like him.


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