FIVE LEAST FAVORITE MONSTERS:

- Inertia Hounds
- Nexus Quythlig
- Colossus
- Punkelman
- Bronze dragons (any kind, w/o confusion resist)

By the way, only one update this week. My life has turned from regular to completely fucking crazy over the last several days, where I have two interviews this week, two more open-ended interviews, Christmas shopping/cards/shipping, regular work, and another freelance article deadline. Sorry, Let's Play Angband. You guys wouldn't even be getting an update except that I wrote this like a week ago. This is why you keep an extra update or two in the LP queue, kids.

Let's get started!

Welcome back to Let's Play Angband. This update is brought to you by me being drunk [ED: not actually drunk now, I was drunk last Friday], because of the "vertical tasting" of Avery's Mephistopheles. The '09 was actually the best, but the '06 ran a close second. You should maybe buy a bottle if you think you can handle a super-strong sweet kinda stout with some hoppy finish. It's a great beer. I also got to have some excellent enchiladas with some pretty good mole on them. I love mole.

As the radio edit says, let's get it started in here. However, everyone knows that LPA is really retarded.

Mim has been in our hearts and minds since dtsund mentioned that he can hit to disenchant, which honestly I never knew, and the only reason why I never knew is probably because Hieronymus Gaylord was wielding Anduril. Anyway, right now he's a safe distance away, but is still probably going to be a bit of a tough bad guy.

A few casts of Draining later, and Mim has melted one of Hieronymus Gaylord's incredibly useful staves. It's on now, motherfucker!

Take that, you dick. This is where I learn that unique monsters, while they might resist paralysis/sleep effects, do not usually resist sound. I'm not ever getting rid of this armor, unless something even radder comes along. And by 'radder' I mean 'way radder'.

Taking advantage of this stunning, Hieronymus Gaylord moves in for melee and gets in a good amount of damage before Mim can even respond. Unfortunately he eventually does, and whittles H.G.'s health down to 50%, at which point he (Mim, not Hieronymus Gaylord) decides it would be an awesome idea to die and leave some goodies behind.

And... and what goodies they are! Oh my!

Colluin, surprisingly, is an artifact which is usually generated at 250' (level 5). This is amazing because it seems like one of the best cloak artifacts I could imagine, but you know what? I bet I'll find a better one... someday. Someday.

The best thing about Colluin is that because it can be activated to add an extra layer of resist, it's effectively the only thing I need to make sure I have maximal resistance against hounds and later nasties like older dragons.

That crossbow, by the way, is fucking awesome. It replaces H.G.'s bow immediately.

This chap drops something significantly less good, and is much more easily dispatched. I'm really starting to love how ridiculous Hieronymus Gaylord's AC is for the level of the dungeon he's hanging around at. If he had, say, 3 or 4 more levels of experience he could be safely scumming around the mid-30s.

Hieronymus Gaylord also finds this hanging around on the ground, and swaps one of his Strength +2 rings for it. This brings him up to a phenomenal 18/150, which is kind of godlike.

The next several images are presented in an oldschool LPA format, complete with gratuitous profanity, which you and your loved ones might enjoy. I know I did.

You are welcome.

And here's his vital stats, so that you can make a Topps baseball card for Ibun, Son of Mim. Rookie season: Completely destroyed. Adventurers killed: 0.

Okay, onward!

H.G. drops an adventurer's stash of awesome, including a War Hammer of *Slay Evil*, in this loot pile so that he has some extra space to cart things around the dungeon. This floor is being particularly kind to him, shitty gauntlets dropped by unique monsters aside.

This might be my least favorite monster in the game right now.

Acidic cytoplasms are (relatively) slow, but get something like 8 hits a round, all of which are acid-branded and so have a chance to corrode. This means once they're in melee range they can seriously mess you (and your equipment) up, and more importantly, they have gobs of HP and a great AC.

This tasty treat, however, makes a fine reward. It could come in handy.

Oh, so that's where that came from. Fuck this, I'm outta here. By which I mean: Hieronymus Gaylord is outta here. Which means back to town, which means selling off all of his phat loot for wicked cash. It's like Cash 4 Gold except that the cash is gold.

In this case, some shopping is done at the Black Market, browsing their inventory and picking up a few potions of Speed. H.G. then goes back into the dungeon, and gets a lucky feeling. This dungeon is a gift from God!

I swear, that's the last one.

Maybe.

Ha ha! I'm not reading these, sucker.

Uh-oh. This looks like quite a sticky situation, although I wonder why there aren't any, you know, uruks in the bodyguard of the King of the Uruk-Hai. I know enough about Tolkien to understand that's kind of weird.

Naturally, things go south, and Hieronymus Gaylord has to book it out of there pretty fast. This is before Azog is even reached, I bet.

Well. I guess that this wasn't that much of a problem after all, was it. Azog drops some pretty good loot, but there's exactly one (1) item here that we're interested in:

+2 WIS GRANTS TELEPATHY

You might remember telepathy from popular character Viki, who used telepathy to find out when hounds were going to ambush her and was able to position herself accordingly. It's just as important for Hieronymus Gaylord, because telepathy is an eventual must for every character. I mean really! It's so cool!

Ha ha ha ha. By the way, telepathy is helping good ol' Hieronymus Gaylord lay the smack down on these remnants of Azog's forces.

This, by the way, is Hieronymus Gaylord's current equipment set. I figure a refresher couldn't hurt, since he's been swapping out things for artifacts left and right.

Oh, hell yes. I have a feeling there are more artifacts in our immediate future, dear friends.

Turns out mass-sleeping explosive growth monsters is far more effective than I ever imagined it being. Chalk this one up in the 'containment strategy' category, and it might actually be my favorite now. Stealthy characters might not even have to do much to get past them and lock/bar the appropriate doors.

This is a new ego item type to 3.1 I believe, and is great for people who aren't cool enough to find the Phial of Galadriel or one of the other (very few) light artifacts.

Hey! It's everyone's favorite monster from the D&D manual, unless maybe you really like displacer beasts. It doesn't seem like it's all that dangerous though, you know? I mean, it didn't blow Hieronymus Gaylord's mind or anything.

Wait a minute, what the fu

THIS IS A VAULT. Well, a lesser vault.

Have I explained what vaults are yet? I think that I have, but here's a refresher course, because it was probably way back before one was ever encountered. Seeing as how this is the first one (what dtsund thought was a lesser vault was, in fact, just an ordinary room that had been populated with inordinate amounts of great treasure; pits have a very low chance to become vault-like).

Vaults are special rooms that contain hordes of monsters, usually out-of-depth uniques and mobs, but also contain ridiculous amounts of treasure. They come in two flavors: Greater Vaults, which are never reachable except by digging around them and then through very specific blocks of granite (vaults always have a permarock perimeter, meaning you can't tunnel into just any ol' place) and Lesser Vaults, which are correspondingly less awesome (usually with just gobs of in-depth stuff) but are generally accessible from the outer world in less arcane ways. This is a lesser vault!

Here's the vault, all cleaned out. Well, of monsters. Treasure's another matter! Here's a quick summary of the haul:

And that's just what gets brought back to town. Or in the case of potions, quaffed. That rod of Detection is also going to be super useful, because it'll replace the first prayerbook and the rod of Detect Treasure completely - it detects monsters, treasure, doors/stairs, and traps!

This gets picked up too! Radical!

Let's close out this update with a review of H.G.'s vital stats.

Lookin' good there, Hieronymus Gaylord!

NEXT TIME: I honestly can't tell you. What would normally constitute the next update looks so incredibly boring that I might just cut it all out and go straight to the interesting stuff. Maybe we'll have a montage, because that's what you do. Even Rocky had a montage.

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