John Adams
I stopped getting the HBOs after The Sopranos went off the air, so I personally can't vouch for this show. But a lot of people with diverse tastes (and whose opinions I trust implicitly) have told me that this is a fantastic show, so it's the first thing I'm adding to my online rental queue this week.

Funny Games
A nearly shot for shot remake of an Austrian horror movie by the same director, Funny Games is brutal, violent, and repellent. Two unassuming-looking young men invade a home and torture the residents by forcing them into participating in a myriad of sadistic "games." Unlike torture-porn horror flicks like Hostel, however, the violence in this film is presented for more than just its prurient value. Still, it's not for the squeamish, no matter how much you might agree with the director's rebuke of American cinema's constant packaging of violence as entertainment.

Jumper
Someone tried to take me to see this when it was in the theaters, so I teleported a car into their house and it ran them over, killing them and a bunch of other people who happened to be in the vicinity. Extreme measures, I know, but the circumstances were desperate!!

The Other Boleyn Girl
Yeah...I'm not going to watch this one. No matter how many vaguely sapphic, vaguely S&M photoshoots this film's two attractive stars pose for. Not that I'm complaining -- I hope they make yearly sequels with similar marketing! Makes visiting the magazine racks "a compelling experience" and "an edge-of-your-seat thrill-ride!"

Signal
Stop me if you've heard this one before: Something mysterious causes everyone exposed to become homicidally violent, and a select few must deal with the repercussions. Richard Laymon and Stephen King both wrote books with similar plot ideas (in Laymon's book it was rain that caused people to lose their minds; in King's it's also some kind of signal). We've even seen similar ideas on film already with 28 Days Later and its sequel. This take on that idea is a actually in three segments for three different directors. I haven't seen it... yet. It's definitely high on my list to check out, as the reviews are very promising.

Witless Protection
Daniel Whitney, aka "Larry the Cable Guy," was born in Nebraska and got his start in comedy while living in West Palm Beach, Florida. "Larry" was originally just one of his characters, but unlike the character of "Larry," Dan Whitney isn't an idiot and realized he could make a living off of homophobic and racist comedy (and a health dose of trucker-hat friendly catchphrases) if he presented himself as a "good ol' boy" and adopted a Southern accent. Check out this youtube video to see Daniel Whitney without the accent or the gimmick. As for the quality of his movies, do you even have to ask? It'll go platinum just off the sales at Wal-Mart stores, and America will get just that much dumber.