Because mother nature's bounty just isn't weird enough.
Battlecows: Half-track ruminants are the docile way to wage a ground war.
Burger Bunny: One of the world's more specific evolutionary tracks, these rabbits live a symbiotic existence with hamburgers during their adolescent years. As adults, the burger develops flight capabilities, giving the rabbit a convenient means of transportation.
Encephalopod: Eight legs, 1000 songs. "In your pocket" not recommended.
General Sow: Rules the world with the aid of his avian vizier, Chicken.
Ninja Mouse: Rest in peace, you little bastard.
Rocketsnail: A tiny way to wage big wars. Albeit slowly.
Soup Hamsters: (Not intended for human consumption.)
Telebunnies: The original and still the best.