Thumbnail Theatre: Akira Part 1

Tetsuo: Kaneda has The. Best. Bike. Ever.

Kaneda: Stop being so Freudian, Tetsuo. When my closest friend starts envying the sleek, powerful machine between my legs, there's bound to be trouble later on.

Tetsuo: I don't envy you! Look, I can maul armed bikers wearing embarrassing face paint just as well as you.

Takeshi: Eep.

Tetsuo: Granted, I'm not so good at handling creepy little wizened blue kids standing harmlessly in the middle of the road.

Kaneda: Tetsuo, are you OK? Who's this freaky kid? And why don't these helicopters make noise until after they've been hovering overhead for several minutes?

Colonel: RARR NUMBERS.

Kaneda: Whoa, it's an unattractive, vaguely mannish girl. I'm in love.

Kei: Bugger off.

Kaneda: She even acts like a man. Mmm baby.

Colonel: GRRR AKIRA.

Tetsuo: I am not an animal! I am a human being!

Kaori: And I am the nicest, most gentle person on earth.

Tetsuo: I'll express my appreciation for your charm by nearly letting you be molested by other bikers, then shouting at you when you treat me with compassion.

Colonel: BLEARGH TETSUO.

Kei: "Neo-Tokyo is about to E-X-P-L-O-D-E!" ...and I'm the one to blame. Tee hee.

Kaneda: Hey baby, can I come along?

Kei: OK, fine. Since fate, or a badly contrived plot, keeps causing us to run into one another, you can join my tiny and never fully explained cel of rebels.

Kaneda: Mmm, fomenting revolution is almost as sexy as boyish teen girls who sound like 40-year-old mothers.

Toys: Yarp, yarp yarp

Tetsuo: Uh...

Toys: Yarp, yarp yarp yarp DOO DOOM DOO DOOM DOO DOOM DOO DOOM

Tetsuo: Weird, deadly dreams suck. Alright, freaky kids, you're going down.

Kiyoko: Um... Akira!

Kaneda: Tetsuo, I've come to help!

Tetsuo: Piss off, you cocky smeghead.

Kaneda: What? This, after I survived the most asinine action sequence ever to save you? I knew that bike was symbolic of some kind of deep-seated resentment. TETSUO!

Tetsuo: KANEDA!!

Kaneda: TETSUOOO!!!

Tetsuo: KANEDAAAAA!!!!

Kei: Would you two like some time alone and a private room, perhaps?

Lackey: You've been sacked, Colonel.

Colonel: ROAR! You can't strip me of my rank, because then I wouldn't have a name. KILL.

Lackey: OK, fine, but was the gutshot necessary? Ow.


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