Wolf: So, you shot me a dozen times, but I had a second life bar. Now you are my prisoner, so you vill be forced to listen to me spout cartoonish innuendos. Oh ho ho ho!

Snake: Neat.

Liquid: Hi, you're my little brother. Since I didn't get to pick on you growing up, I'm going to make up for it in one go with this exquisite torture device.

Snake: You can't scare me. I know you won't kill me until the vague plot hints you've been dropping are more fully explained.

Ocelot: I'll give it my best shot, though. Press A to heal, press select to yield, don't use autofire and don't expect to continue.

Snake: Not a big fan of preserving suspension of disbelief, are you?

Naomi:Hold out as long as you can, Snake! I want to watch you suffer as much as possible!

Snake: Colonel, I'm sorry. My thumb couldn't move fast enough to save Meryl.

Campbell:I suppose it would be petty for me to resent your weakness, since I've been lying to you like a dog this entire time.

Otacon:Snake, I wanted to help you escape from this prison, so I brought some ketchup and a handkerchief!

Snake: Otacon, your stupidity is like a living, breathing organism. And I think it just had a growth spurt. I guess I should just be glad that my jailor is even thicker than you.

Liquid: Hello, Snake! Time for some more vague, confusing tirades! Hope you weren't wanting to get across the bridge that I just nuked with my Hind.

Snake: No problem. I've found that whenever I need a new weapon to proceed, there's always one conveniently within reach. Such as the Stinger I'm off to procure.

Otacon:Snake, do you think love can grow even on a battlefield?

Snake: Sometimes, sure. But what I really think is that I feel awfully embarrassed for you whenever your lips move.

Liquid: Excuse me, but while you two are spouting terrible, maudlin dialogue I'm hovering around in a helicopter waiting to kill you. Can we please get a move on?

Snake: Right, sorry. Here's a Stinger from me to you.

Liquid: TETSUOOOOO! Er, I mean... SNAAAAAAAAAKE!

Wolf: Hullo, Snake. In my heart you are number vun vith a bullet!

Snake: People who make stupid puns like that deserve to die.

Otacon:Why can't we all just get along?

Wolf: Do I know you?

Snake: Monster! Your number's up!

Wolf: Oh, how tragic my life has been.

Snake: Yeah, you're real noble and stuff. I mean it. I've just been kidding about you being a murderous lunatic all this time. Honest.

Otacon:I loved her, Snake.

Snake: So? You also built the ultimate nuclear weapon without stopping to consider what it actually was. Let's just say I consider your judgment a little suspect.

Campbell:Snake, now that you've cleared the snow level, next up is the obligatory fire level.

Miller: Snake, don't you think Naomi is acting a little funny? She doesn't seem to have committed to memory every little detail of the life of a grandfather she never met. Obviously, she's an evil traitor.

Snake: Crikey, you must be right! When in doubt, always go with the man who knows the importance of using the bathroom before a long cutscene. Even if his accent does tend to slip from time to time.

Raven: Snake, pull my ears!

Snake: This isn't like a "pull my finger" trick, is it? Because I'm getting awfully sick of the the adolescent humor in this game.

Raven: What? You beat me twice. You and I are just alike!

Snake: Huh. Liquid, Mantis and Wolf all said I was just like them, too. Joseph Campbell would be so proud.

Raven: Now I shall divulge secret information about our plans.

Snake: You guys aren't so great at this "super villain" stuff. You're supposed to reveal your scheme before you kill me, not after I kill you.

Liquid: Gurlukovich! Outer Heaven! Genomes!

Snake: See, that's more like it.