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Good timing has its good price
31 August 07 | 22:40
So I made a commitment to myself to update this site every single day for the month of August. I held fast to that vow even as my brain exploded from so many things to deal with at once and the stress gave me canker sores (they're the new ulcer). And then, with three days to go, AT&T's DSL service crapped out right as I was about to post. My best intentions and hard work, destroyed by corporate incompetence.
I'm pretty sure that's a parable for life in modern America, or something.
Despite my constant complaining that you're surely sick of reading by now, I managed to motor through and review four huge games in ten days. (In addition to my regular duties, including dissecting Halo and Halo 2 in copiousdetail.) And yes, I played through to the end of all of them, even unlocking the new Maria mode on Dracula X Chronicles -- well, OK, I only played about half of Tactics in English. But having finished the the game twice in English on PlayStation and the PSP version in Japanese, I think I am capable of making a fair assessment, no?
I guess what I'm saying is that I won't feel bad about completely slacking off with this fortuitously-timed three-day weekend. Except... the first thing I did upon getting home from work was sit down and whip the reader-submitted wiki content back into shape. It's been a long, lonely week since the last two articles went up, and there's a ton of stuff in the queue. So please to enjoy the following:
Another Virtual Console review, this time of the exciting left-scrolling simulation Legend of Kage.
And a very loving look at Soulcalibur. Yes, the official spelling crams it all together with no intercapping. It looks dumb. But at least it's not as dumb as Sony's official all-caps spelling of PlayStation 3, which always gives me the impression they're screaming at me. Come to think of it, they probably are. In desperation.
Anyway, expect more of these in the next few days. Unless I decide to go ahead and take a few days off. Don't worry, I'll feel guilty about it if I do.
This week's game release list squeaks in just under the wire, with mere minutes remaining before being made irrelevant. The big news is Metroid Prime 3, you see, and it's on sale now. And soon you east-coasters will be getting home from work and playing the game. In which case, I guess the release list is irrelevant anyway, since you've already made your buying decision. So never freaking mind, then.
Nah, you should check out the list anyway. In the midst of some very high-profile releases, you will also find some shockingly (and deservedly) low-profile games. Come join us as we stand in a circle around them and throw rocks and spit. Bullying the weak and stupid is awesome.
I thought it might be fun if I rewrote yesterday's entry to not be an incomprehensible, decontextualized mess.
My girlfriend's sister and brother-in-law have been in town for the past week or so. Actually, they somehow timed their visit to perfectly coincide with the absolute busiest I have been at work since the fall of 2004, when 1UP consisted of four full-time writers covering one of history's busiest game-release seasons ever. In the ten days they've been in town, I was assigned a review of Metroid Prime 3. And Phantom Hourglass. And Dracula X Chronicles. And Tactics. And I needed to spearhead the launch of the Halo 3 coverage. Plus I was wrangled into helping manage the site's news for a day or so, since pretty much everyone else was either in Seattle or Leipzig. Meanwhile, it was an implict expectation that I fulfill my Social Obligations to our guests on top of all of this.
Needless to say, it's been a real hoot to juggle all of this.
I just ate a meal that must have cost about $200 a head. When the wine wears off, I'm going to feel totally guilty about eating a single dinner that costs as much as I spend on lunches in a month.
Meanwhile, in news of things that are moderately less frivolous and guilt-inducing, we bid farewell to the Super Metroid Fun Club topic as it gives way to a discussion of Metroid Prime 3. Too soon, you say? Very well. Have a look at this week's DVD releases instead. Yes, the DVDs don't come out until the same day as MP3, but the release list isn't participatory, you see.
Uh... I feel what I'm writing isn't making any sense. I'm addled with amazing food and excellent wine and need to go fall into bed... and a food coma.
It seems I did a rather poor job of selling the excellence of War of the Lion's new localization in last night's post, so I apologize for my failure of language in praising someone else's excellence therein. I guess it's just one of those things you have to experience for yourself in the gestalt; an isolated bit of text from here or there doesn't quite convey the point. Plus, most of the best-written dialogue takes place during battles and works as a complement to the on-screen action. But anyway, it's good. Really. Still, I am a little sad to report that your FF Tactics characters no longer get a good feeling when reporting completed tasks. Instead they talk about how the stars were with them from the outset or some such.
Sometimes, less dopey isn't better.
And speaking of dopey -- or at least nerdy -- here's more on Tactics.
The preview I wrote today for the PSP port of Final Fantasy Tactics is, like, super-nerdy. I can't help it. I'm totally in love with the new localization -- it's not simply a good retranslation, it's good writing, period. (Looks like I'm not the only one, either. The forum kids made a jump-start on the gushing while I was off doing Relationship Obligation things with the girlfriend's family.)
I think this may become the absolute textbook example of the difference between terrible and exceptional localization. It's not just translation -- the dialogue in War of the Lions contains the same information as the dialogue in the original game. The difference is in the refinement of the raw translation, transforming Japanese syntax and phrasings into something that sounds natural in English. (And let's face it, "tortured thieves" doesn't make a damn lick of sense under any circumstance.)
One of Square Enix's tricks of the trade is create massive localization bibles for its various series, a practice that pays off with an insane level of consistency that reflects even in tiny details. The renamed skill names in War of the Lions, for instance -- not just the usual Cure/Cura/Curaga business, either, but more obscure things, like monk-class skills synching up with the new names for Sabin's techniques in FFVI Advance, or the thief's "Gilgame Heart" being renamed "Gil Snapper" to reference that stupid ultra-powerful turtle in FFV.
Oh yeah, and Algus Argath comes off as an even bigger bastard now that the sheer dogma of his bigotry is fully expressed. It felt good to roast him with a few Firas. (Because you just know that if he knew the Fira spell, he'd use it to set fire to crosses.)
I'm about to send Alicia, Lavian and Ladd (formerly Rad) to fulfill their first job propostion. I wonder if they'll still have a good feeling.
So, the newly-revealed bosses for Metal Gear Solid 4. Yes, they're all female; yes, they all combine the emotion-themed motif of MGS3's Cobra Unit members with the specific animal fursonas code-names of Metal Gear Solid's Fox Hound. No news there. But if you pay attention to the finer details of the video below...
...you can pretty much predict how the game is going to play out. They're all post-traumatic stress disorder survivors reshaped into invincible cybernetic beasts -- more machine now than (wo)man -- and the essence of their humanity is buried deep within. Which of course means that when Snake offs them, one by one, they'll experience catharsis in the throes of dying, a last-minute reawakening of their humanity. And this will compel them to launch into 15-minute solioquies as they slo-o-o-o-o-o-owly cross the threshold of death's door.
I've gotta say, I think my favorite thing about MGS3 is that when you defeat a boss they pretty much just explode instantly. Lengthy deathbed discourses are a Metal Gear tradition we don't actually need to see revived for MGS4. Maybe it's just me, but if I were shot through the lungs and could no longer breathe without suffocating on blood, I figure I probably wouldn't be compelled to use my last moments telling my killer about my lousy childhood in Kurdistan or whatever.
In the fine tradition of Revisiting Trigger (which I will be continuing in a few weeks), I'm augmenting the next three weeks of 1UP/EGM's Halo 3 coverage with a journey of rediscovery through Bungie's previous first-person shooters. That would be Halo, Halo 2 and, oh yes, the Marathon trilogy. (I'd toss Pathways Into Darkness in there as well, but hell if I can find a computer capable of running it anymore.) So! Let's begin with the beginning of combat's evolution.
P.S., you should also read the new Halo 3 features that are going online tonight. Your selections include a screenshot gallery and a hands-on preview of the fourth mission.
I have lost count of how many words I have produced about Halo 3 at this point, but my math skills tell me that I will need to play the game for about five days nonstop to match the amount of time I've spent writing about this game.
"My name is Cortana, of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durandal."
The original Halo has a rather elaborate (and slightly sordid) history. The first word came in the form of some very veiled and cryptic emails to a fan site, Hamish Sinclair's Marathon's Story page. Old-school Bungie loved Sinclair and his affection for their narrative efforts, even going so far as to name a hidden map in Marathon: Infinity in his honor. So it may seem a little odd in retrospect that the earliest teasers for one of the most influential and popular series ever arrived in the form of the Cortana Letters -- but it totally made sense at the time.
This week's Fun Club project has launched: BioShock. I guess we'll be kicking off new Fun Club topics on Tuesdays from now on, since that seems to be when the games arrive. And with as many big games as are coming out this fall, the bulk of our endeavors over the next few months will be focused on their delights. So! Go talk about BioShock. Maybe I will be able to join in the fun... but probably not. Current review projects aside, I still gotta finish MGS3. Zut alors.
Two new reader-submitted articles for today:
First, bobservo tackles Brave Fencer Musashi, a charming little PlayStation game that only actually caught anyone's attention because it came packed with the Final Fantasy VIII demo. I never managed to finish it, myself, but I guess that's because I don't have patience for games so sloppily programmed that you actually fall through the moving platforms you're trying to jump on -- regardless of how whimsically endearing they may be. But the memory of Scribe Shanky lives forever in my heart regardless.
And secondly, Talking Time regular Brandon takes a break from his usual modus operandi of plastering the forums with groan-inducing puns to take a fascinating look at Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. See, I told you it was going to come back to haunt me again today. My growing antagonism toward the game's cruel spite aside, I strongly recommend you read this particular write-up, because it is... what's the word? Oh yes. Hilarious.
Tomorrow: Man, I don't even know. Maybe I'll drop oblique hints about how much I'm enjoying the games I'm reviewing to see what I can get away with saying before crossing the "broken embargo" threshold.
I was so proud of myself for managing to finish off Phantom Hourglass over the weekend. Self, I thought, maybe you will now have time for some BioShock before tackling Metroid Prime: Corruption. Seems a reasonable ambition, too, given the two games' very similar natures, and it would behoove me to be able to make comparisons in the event that they overlap significantly. But it was not to be: the spectre of Final Fantasy Tactics reared back and bit me in the tush. I think it resented my disparaging remarks over the course of the two most recent blog posts and plotted revenge, which is I have been saddled with a review copy of War of the Lions. "Saddled" is maybe the wrong word, since it's not like an odious burden or anything, but still. Of all the lousy timing.
On the plus side, I have discovered that Ramza is actually Kiff Kroker Hermes Conrad. When he hangs out with Wakka, it's like living one-third of a Futurama episode.
But while I must juggle reviews of Tactics and Dracula X and Metroid and smooth over our upcoming, life-devouring Halo 3 coverage, you are under no such obligations. Therefore, why not savor the fruits of my labor? And by "my labor" I mean the raw energy of talented video game fanatics which I have harnessed for your entertainment through no merit of my own.
First is the weekly game release list, which admittedly can be summed up in a single, InterCapped word: BioShock. But read it anyway, as you won't want to miss our friendly contributors' snarky comments regarding the week's lesser games.
M.Nicolai adds a second entry to the site's Virtual Console coverage with a look at Mario Bros. I reamed Mario Bros. way hard in my own wrap-up many months ago, so this moderately positive view should be proof that I am not the cruel tyrant you suspect, and that I am perfectly okay with letting others express their individual opinions. So just shut the hell up.
And finally, wumpwoast adds another chapter to his rapidly-growing Mega Man retrospective series with a look at the cruelly-designed Mega Man III. I'm frankly confused as to whether or not he actually enjoys these games, since he seems to damn them and adore them all at once. But that's part of his charm, I guess. He's all mysterious and stuff.
Tomorrow: Final Fantasy Tactics will bite me in the tush once again.
Peace reigns now that the last Metroid is in captivity, and this week's Fun Club alternate selection, Super Metroid, is now live and ready for discussion. Pardon me for letting my biases show through, but this is basically one of the greatest video games ever made, so I expect nothing less than conversation to match. Yes, the pressure's on.
Unfortunately, that galactic peace doesn't extend to this website. Apparently a sure way to provoke tremendous anger is to slam Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. I didn't realize the game actually had much of a fanbase, since everyone I know shares my opinion, i.e. that it's a sloppy wreck of a game with a terrible interface, needlessly oblique gameplay and an uninspiring story. But fair enough; every game has its fans. People adore SaGa, so by comparison it's easy to see why FFTA would have a following. Maybe I'll make it into a Fun Club selection so I'll have the excuse to give it another shot.
Meanwhile, VsRobot's weekly DVD column is online and ready to offer all sort of recommendations to those of you who don't plan to spend your week soaking up Super Metroid or BioShock. Incidentally, I only had time to add about half of the prospective site contributors to the authorized list, so if you didn't get a private message from me today -- I should get back to you by next week.
Perhaps not surprisingly, a few scans from some Japanese publication or another have been drifting around the Internet to reveal the terrible, terrible fact that Penelo and Vaan are putting in cameos in Final Fantasy Tactics A2.
I guess Balthier was too busy with the original Tactics to muck around with Ivalice continuity again, so they made up for it by lending Vaan his shirt.
And that puts me of two minds for this news: on one hand, I'm annoyed, because I'd really like to think the Ivalice games are good enough that they don't need to pander -- loosely-intimated connections between titles should be enough. (We'll forgive Cloud's presence in FFT since franchise-whoring was untested territory for Square at the time.) On the other hand, with Vaan's horrible filth-encrusted abdominal carapace covered, for the first time he now actually looks kinda... respectable.
And now that I think about it, FFTA2 will need all the help it can get if it turns out to be as lousy as its predecessor.
So... I have a copy of BioShock in hand. But I can't play it -- I have to finish up Phantom Hourglass this weekend. As far as tragedies go, this is easily among the least substantial ever experienced by a human. Sometimes I feel guilty about living such a spoiled life. But then I remember that I'm awesome and totally deserve it.
Yeeeeah. Anyway, please enjoy the following big-pixel eyesores. And by "enjoy" I mean "click on." They're links, you see.
As a sort of complement to the weekly Retro Roundup at 1UP, I've initiated a compendium of reader-created Virtual Console reviews. Proof that it's going to be awesome: The first entry is a write-up of the abysmal Urban Champion. YESSSSS
The mad rush of Mega Man retrospectives continues with a look at another forgotten chapter of the series: the second Game Boy title.
And finally, a look at 3 in Three, a mid-'90s Mac game so obscure I've never even heard of it. And I spent most of the mid-'90s mucking around with obscure Mac games, so that's saying something.
Anyway, I would have to say that our early experiments with reader-created content has been a smashing success -- it's actually turned out much better than I had hoped or expected. So! Hopefully this weekend I will have a chance to bring everyone who expressed interest in helping out into the fold. Please keep an eye on your Talking Time private message box over the next few days.
I guess I have nothing to fear from BioShock after all. Andrew's review -- in addition to being beautifully written -- basically says, "No, you tool, this game is everything you expected." Consider me encouraged, and chastened, all at once. Happily, the fallout from my doubts has been a collection of almost entirely cordial responses -- even at 1UP, where blog comments have a tendency to drift into "frothy spew" territory at a moment's notice. I guess BioShock brings out the best in everyone. We should rename it "Yuletime in August."
Really though, I'm surprised that no one called me a hypocrite for being such a cranky jerk about the BioShock demo after freaking out in joy at the Metal Gear Solid 4 gameplay demo -- which, it should be said, looks to compromise its narrative consistency far more than BioShock could ever dream. How terribly biased of me.
So why am I discontent when I'm slightly shepherded in one game yet totally cool with seeing a dude in a different game produce a giant metal barrel right out of thin air? No, it's not fanboyism; I've never been particularly kind to Metal Gear's narrative excesses.
Maybe it's just that when a game's villain is an improbable fusion of Stan Lee and Seņor Wences, anything goes.
Hey, look! Hudson's releasing a new Star Soldier game for Wii -- Star Soldier R, I believe it is called. This is great news. Because if there's one thing the Wii needs more of, it's overhead shooters from Hudson!
I am absolutely dead serious (with utmost sincerity) when I tell you that this new Um Jammer Lammy retrospective by bobservo is par excellence, though. I guess that means you should read it.
Talking Time appears to be suffering from host-wide MySQL issues, so please do not despair. If you get a 500 error, it doesn't mean I don't love you. It means Dreamhost doesn't love you.
Anyway. I played the BioShock demo last night, and it left me wondering: Does storytelling have an Uncanny Valley, too?
There's no question that this game is amazing on many levels; the art direction alone is pretty much mind-blowing. If this is what next-gen consoles are for, farewell to everything that's happened between PlayStation and now. Lots of games do "dark," but BioShock is the first game that manages to do it without sacrificing things like "detail" and "beauty." The lighting is moody, sure, and that makes it spooky, but it also makes the colors richer. People toss around terms like "HDR lighting" without much thought to the actual benefits of the technology; who knew that it's good for something other than shininess and blown-out faux overexposure? BioShock creates deep pools of blackness, but look within the darkness and you'll see burnished metals and luxurious cloth, rendering an eye-popping world that perfectly creates the unique setting of an avant-garde utopia fallen into ruin.
Holy smokes! It's a giant collection of links to things I've written at 1UP. How original and not overdone at all.
Heroes of Mana review: Heroes is racking up very uneven scores, ranging anywhere from mediocre to great. Ever the moderate, my score was somewhere in between, a very solid "good." It's not a perfect game by any means -- you will curse at your units' horrible pathfinding AI -- but it's still an enjoyable game. Of course, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who doesn't care much for the RTS genre in general. Anyone who's into real RTS titles will be deeply disappointed by Heroes, so be warned, StarCraft fans.
Retro Roundup for 8/13: Is it crazy that Metroid is actually the weakest release this week? I mean, I loved the original Metroid. (Which is probably why I won't shut up about it.) But let us be completely honest with ourselves: It hasn't aged well. Like, at all. With Super Metroid due next week, yeah... kinda hard to recommend it without a few caveats.
On the other hand, it's totally better than Metroid II.
A very important poll: I buy exactly one stupidly overpriced game every year. This is your chance to determine what will absorb my precious cash moneys when I hit Akihabara next month. So far, the completely boring Radiant Silvergun is winning, so this is your chance to help win one for justice.
For the record, one Mr. Brahe swears by the Dungeons & Dragons Collection. I think you know what to do here.
You know, as much as I'm enjoying the Fun Club thing, I regret to admit that it is making my blogging much more difficult. The things I would normally write about here are instead being detailed there. I suppose I could, inevitably, blog about non-gaming matters, but I've made the mistake in the past of not keeping my personal life private and I would really prefer not to go down that path. I could blog about work, but despite the common belief that working at a game website is a non-stop barrel of thrills and hilarity our office is actually pretty normal most of the time. Sure, occasionally someone from EGM will ride by in a motorized shopping cart with a radio playing "Lowrider," but not as often as you'd hope. I don't watch TV and don't have as much time to read as I'd like, so nothing to talk about there. Movies are generally lousy. Politics are the worst idea ever, because the state of the nation makes me sad and everyone else angry.
So... I guess the point is that you should make the most of Fun Club. It's where my brain dump happens. And we all love dumpy brains.
Reader-submitted content for the day: VsRobot follows through with his weekly DVD column, offering up a concise summary of why you should (or shouldn't) give a crap about this week's video releases. And the twin dynamos of reibeatall and Sarcasmorator kindly answered the call for someone to take a similar approach with the week's game releases -- and just in time for the fall rush to begin, too.
Yes, this week marks the beginning of sad time for the gamer's wallet. Arriving tomorrow or Wednesday or whenever is an inexplicable glut of RPGs, which is both inconvenient and strange. I mean, it's not like there are any big role-playing releases this fall that everyone needs to beat to the punch. Don't even bother countering with Blue Dragon or Eternal Sonata, kids -- they're both mediocre PS1-era gameplay design wrapped up in Xbox 360 visuals, which is pretty much the antithesis of what people should be doing with all this fancy hardware.
Persona 3, on the other hand, doesn't have jaw-dropping graphics, but the gameplay is by all accounts exceptional. Support quality! Especially since P3 will be next month's Fun Club RPG selection.
And with that, this post has come full circle. I can die fulfilled.
Actually, it may be more like fourteen days of Fun Club, because this week's topic is Metal Gear Solid 3 -- a game that takes about as long to complete as both of its predecessors combined. (Or longer, if you're super-cautious and obsessed with a good stealth rating, like me.) Depending on how the project goes for most people, we'll see whether or not we need to expand the play time to a second week. Durandal discussion sort of fizzled out toward the end, but I think that's because only about half a dozen people were serious about it. MGS3, on the other hand, seems quite popular! So join in the discussion. So far two of the three parts are up:
That's "The End," not "the end." Big difference there, so please mind the gap.
Not everyone is a fan of MGS, of course, so this week's alternate selection is Punch-Out!! Either flavor is acceptable: Mike Tyson's or Mr. Dream. I guess you could also go with the arcade version, but people are gonna look at you funny.
Well, maybe not a Christmas miracle per se. It's nowhere near Christmas, for one, and the new content that has appeared on the site today is not actually a miracle but rather has been born of genuine hard work. Eh, as hard as playing a video game and writing about it is, I guess. That's ultimately a function of the quality of the games in question, and apparently today's subjects are not too bad. So not even hard work, then.
First, young BobServo takes us on a dazzling trip into the world of Radia Senki -- aka Record of the Radia War -- an obscure Famicom RPG which despite the title has nothing whatsoever to do with either Record of the Lodoss War or Radiata Story. Tricky language, that Japanese.
And wumpwoast returns with yet another article about an 8-bit Mega Man game. In this case, it's Dr. Wily's Revenge for Game Boy. Inexplicably, revenge is a dish best served cold, yet wumpwoast's write-up is full of warmth. Apparently he didn't get the memo.
Tomorrow: we press R1 to stare at Eva's chest at inappropriate moments.
More delightful reader-generated content arrives today in the form of wumpwoast's exceptional Mega Man 4 retrospective. Well, delightful for you, not so much for me. It worries me that other people are better at writing ToastyFrog-style articles than I am these days. The slow decay of the mind is a depressing thing to experience. Especially when your point of view is within the decaying mind in question.
Tomorrow is the last day to participate in the Fun Club discussions of Marathon: Durandal and Castlevania; come Sunday, these topics close and new endeavors begin. I hear tell there's gonna be some snake eaten in the coming week, but that could be a scurrilous rumor.
If you have ever wondered why people like me, people who write about video games for a living, are often so very inexplicably jaded and unhappy about this supposed "dream job"? Please read this very fine Gamasutra article. (I don't know if registration is required, but if it is, it's free, so register already.) I know some very nice PR people, and I think about half the people in the gaming press end up marrying PR people. But as a whole, they collectively serve to make our lives very miserable.
(There's a joke about the marriage thing here, but I'm too nice to make it.)
Todd Zuniga's comments about working at Rockstar are particularly amusing, at least to me. The bit about every half-point counting. He was there during the launch of GTA: San Andreas, and Rockstar exploded with fury when I scored the Xbox and PC versions of the game a half-point lower than the PS2 version due to issues of interface (Xbox) and stability (PC). Fortunately my superiors believe very strongly in protecting individual writers from publisher wrath, but even the splash effect was epic in its corporate madness.
Which isn't to say the press isn't pretty stupid, too. And honestly, PR frustrations aren't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, since it's not like writing about video games is a particularly crucial endeavor. Or maybe that's my ennui talking. I dunno, I'd rather be creating video games than writing about them -- receiving scathing critiques rather than penning them. If forum 'tards are going to hate me, I'd prefer they hate me for making a crappy game than for reaming someone else'scrappy game. Puts a more personal touch on the "GET AIDS AND DIE" posts, you know?
I've received several responses to my solicitation for help with my pie-in-the-sky dream of making a video game, and I do so appreciate it. Who knows if I will ever actually make any headway on this ludicrous ambition! Probably not! But I really need to take a moment to write everyone back. I'm glad there are people out there willing to throw in with a venture even if they know it will likely never fly.
Literally! The idea behind The Venture involves exploring the wreckage of a crashed starship. I like to think of it as a symbol for all my futile ambitions. I was going to describe a general outline of the game plan here, but now that I try to verbalize it I realize that it closely resembles a mass of insipid clichés, and I'm actually embarrassed to talk about it now.
Yeah, this is gonna go well.
Oh well. At least we can always talk about good video games -- I've added an Etrian Odyssey discussion to the Fun Club. "Say, Parish, isn't that three game discussions going on at once?" you ask, and rightly so. But RPGs will be on a monthly rotation, so it's not too crowded. We can chat about the weekly topics and use the RPGs as a bit of a breather. It's a genius idea, really. Wish I had though of it myself.
I've invited a few more people to contibute to the site, so if you had expressed interest at some point please do check your private messages over on the forums. If you don't have an invite, don't cry -- I'm working my way down the list in pretty much the order in which people contacted me.
I would like to write something interesting and amusing in this blog space, but I cannot! I used up all my words writing about Halo 3 today. Yes, I'm writing more about Halo 3. It's really rather obscene, I realize, but this is us yielding to the vox populi. I suspect I'll be suckered into exhaustively previewing one of these all-consuming AAA blockbusters each year as long as I'm working at 1UP. Last year it was Zelda, this year Halo 3. On the whole, I'm definitely enjoying my Halo 3 work more. Does that surprise you? Oh, it has nothing to do with the quality of the games in question; they're both very good. It's just that neither Microsoft nor Bungie are churlishly protective of their properties and have actually given me information and content to work with. It's very exciting to be treated like an actual human being. Unfortunately, Nintendo hasn't really mastered that part of its public relations.
So, in lieu of blog content, please accept this humble offering of a VsRobot-penned weekly DVD release list. It is a sort of public service, you see. One that might well be appearing weekly! I'm sure there would be room for something similar in the gaming space, too, if only someone were interested in compiling it.
You want things to read? Fine. I'll give you things to read. And I'll even include pretty pictures to trick you into doing it.
For starters, my solicitation for site contributors has resulted in a few articles. It's taken us a little time to work out the kinks, but already we have two really good game write-ups -- created in a collaborative, community kind of way. It's really quite heart-warming. I think I will be steadily inducting a few new writers at a time over the coming weeks. Certainly enough people expressed interest in contributing to the site; my main concern is easing them in a few at a time so I'm not overwhelmed by getting too many writers orientated at a time.
So, completed contributions. First is a tribute -- a paean, if you will -- to Guitar Hero. It's really quite gushing and makes me wish I weren't utterly incompetent at rhythm games.
And keeping with the music theme comes a nod to the original Mega Man, which is couched almost entirely in Radiohead metaphors. It's all over my head, since Radiohead is basically prog rock that fell asleep, but everyone who loves somnolent computer sounds will eat this one up. But I kid, kind of. Just a word of advice: don't gripe about the Proto Man continuity error. It's deliberate, apparently.
If you would prefer to write rather that read -- although really I don't see why you can't do both -- Gamespite Fun Club is in full swing with several rousing discussions in progress. We've delved pretty deeply into the first chapter of Marathon: Durandal, made halting steps into Durandal's second act, and drummed up some discourse on the original Castlevania for those who like shorter games. Or simpler games. Or games with whips.
Finally comes this week's Retro Roundup. I've finally managed to put these back on track after the annoying disruption that was E3, so it's all reliable and timely again and will be in future weeks. Please look forward to it (bow).
Inspired by Kotaku's latest venture, the kids in the forums have requested the advent of a "game club" type of project where everyone plays through a game together and discusses it. Hardly the most original of ideas (not least of all because it was directly swiped from another site), but I like it anyway. Enough to sponsor it, in fact -- the nerd-discussion equivalent of loving the Norelco shaver so much you buy the company.
If you'd be interested in participating, please swing by the relevant thread and place your vote. If you guys decide to go the second route, the first selections will be Marathon 2 and MGS3... in other words, I will frequently use it as an excuse to make myself play things I need to catch up on. So factor that into your decisions. Also, feel free to suggest a better name than Game Club.
It's official. Join the Gamespite Fun Club today! If it catches on, maybe I'll even make stickers or something. I dunno. I'm feeling punchy today.
You can jump into to our two active conversation threads: Durandal and Castlevania. Well, I say active, but so far no one has actually posted anything. Sooooo... we'll see if anything actually comes of this.
My girlfriend went back home to NYC for a week-long stay, so I've decided to do something this weekend that I never, ever do: Be a completely lazy slug of a human and do nothing worthwhile with my time. So far I've managed to wrap up my playthrough of Halo 2, read a chunk of The Amber Spyglass and make it to the 3/4 mark in the so-good-you'll-vomit XBLA version of Marathon: Durandal.
You people can stop demanding a new Retronauts podcast -- episode 28 is up. I haven't had a chance to listen to this one, and I had no involvement whatsoever with its creation, so I can't vouch for it. But Sharkey hates it, which means he's already turned into me! So you should listen to it just to witness his bizarre metamorphosis for yourself. Next up: He'll stop cussin', drinkin' and smokin' and become a boring, quiet person who blogs too often.
In news of things I am involved in, I've been feeling that old itch to create a game lately. I was building up some big, ambitious plans last spring, but then my grandfather passed away right as I was warming up to the task and suddenly I didn't really feel like working on it anymore.
It's been long enough now that the negative associations have faded, and I'd love nothing more than to play a good game and be able to think, "Hey, I did this." Of course, I'm no Pixel, so I'm open to help. I have a story and general gameplay in mind, but no clue how the hell to go about actually, you know, creating it. If anyone out there loves creating 2D sprite art or producting retro-sounding music and doesn't mind contributing to a project that will almost certainly make no one any money ever, let me know. Better yet, send me a link to your portfolio. Once I put this thing into motion, I'd like to chronicle its creation on the site, or maybe on 1UP. I dunno. Seems like a bunch of amateurs floundering around trying to make a video game could be pretty interesting. Or at the very least, charming in its pathos.
Contrary to previous indications, the game -- which I'm currently calling The Venture -- is not about ToastyFrog. I think he'd be better in an RPG than a platformer, so maybe that will be my second project. (Say, ten years from now, when the first game is finally either finished or abandoned. But maybe I shouldn't be so fatalistic about these things?)
...it should probably be BioShock. Leastways, that's the scuttlebutt around the office. But if you buy two, may I sincerely recommend the second choice be Picross DS?
I would gush about it a bit, but I've already said all I have to say about it in my review... which, I have to say, is one of the better pieces I've written this year. It's very simple and sincere and to the point, because I feel strongly that Picross is one of the best puzzle concepts ever -- and this is a nearly-perfect rendition. (Only nearly, since zooming in is a little clumsy.) Please give it a try.
I downloaded Marathon 2 on XBLA today. I played a level. Then I had to come to work. Why, why did I come to work? I should be at home, blowing up aliens and unraveling the mysteries of Lh'owon... and not getting motion sick. If you're puking when you play this game, turn down the control sensitivity. It's a little too quick at the moment and it's making a few people queasy.
And you will play this game if you have even a shred of humanity left in that withered husk you call a soul. Sure, Durandal doesn't hold up against most modern FPSes -- but this comes down almost entirely to the enemy AI, which is horribly dated. Your foes are pretty much of the "run straight at you and attack" school of design, which is painfully dull compared to the savvy AI of the post-Half-Life era. And the graphics are fairly simplistic, too, seeing as they're not true 3D.
The weapons and level designs and story, though, are still some of the best ever seen in an FPS. A machine gun with a built-in grenade launcher? Dual shotguns? Stages that can be completed via multiple routes? Secrets hidden everywhere? Hawtsome. And it's clear this port was crafted by people who love the series -- just look at the Achievements. Most of them net you points in a multiple of seven (a number of tremendous significance in Bungie lore), and the objectives are so much more interesting than the usual "kill x dudes" or "beat some level or another." Even the Achievement names are nerdy -- find the hidden assault rifle and you unlock "Bigger Guns Nearby," which was the name of the stage in which you acquired the AR in the original Marathon. Good stuff.
