Games | Weekly Game Releases | Blog | Week of May 27, 2008: We usually don't feature PC games here, let alone ports. But reibeatall's moving this weekend, so I'm in charge, and I do what I want. You have problem? Besides, given what we have coming down the pipe this week, and that it missed out the first time around thanks to Rock Band, the only possible choice for GotW is...

List compiled by reibeatall and Sarcasmorator | Imports by parish, courtesy of NCS | Posted May 27, 2008


Game of the Week


Mass Effect
Electronic Arts | PC | Sci-Fi RPG
Interface flaws, combat shortcomings and graphical glitches aside, Mass Effect was one of the most engrossing games to come out last year. If you missed it on the Xbox 360 and you have a computer that can run it OK, this is your chance to check it out -- minus said flaws, shortcomings and glitches. Don't pass it up, or the Reapers will enslave and destroy all that you know.


Also Appearing in Stores


Enemy Territory: Quake Wars
Activision| Xbox 360 and PS3 | Shoot-shooter-shootest
Quake Wars has the opposite trajectory of Mass Effect -- it came out last year on the PC, and is only now arriving on the consoles. It's a decent enough online shooter, but don't you dare play it unless you have a broadband connection.

You can play as the eye-rollingly generic human side or the total Borg-ripoff Strogg, each of which with five roughly comparable soldier classes the real differences are in the details. I can't imagine a reason to recommend this to most Xbox 360 owners, but it'd make a good stopgap for PS3 gamers waiting for Resistance 2 or whatever.

For extra comedy, spam the Strogg's gurgly "Thank you!" emote whenever you play. It never gets annoying!


Death Jr. II: Root of Evil
Konami | Wii | Action ad(ead)venture
The Wii port of a PSP sequel to a franchise starter you've probably never played. Has a neat art style, sort of Tim Burton meets Jhonen Vasquez, but not as good as that sounds. Looks pretty unremarkable otherwise.


LOL
Agetec | DS | OMGWTFBBQ
A multiplayer-only party game where the players come up with challenges for the others to finish. FOR TEH EPIC LULZ, etc.


Super Dodgeball Brawlers
Aksys | DS | Reliving childhood traumas
It's the classic game of Super Dodgeball -- schoolyard mayhem done up Kunio-style -- except with better graphics and slower action. Also, you can now punch the stuffing out of the other team. Punching stuff is awesome, you know. The game itself's a bit average-ish, though.


Downloadable Contentment: This Week in DLC


XBLA: Assault Heroes 2
Sierra Online | Xbox 360 | Action
The sequel to a pretty good two-stick shooter from a while back. Assault Heroes 2 doesn't fall far from the tree, though you can now hijack enemies and get into vehicles besides your standard armored car. It's big, dumb, loud action -- expect nothing more or less.

WiiWare: Family Table Tennis
Nintendo | Wii | Sports
It's a table tennis game on the Wii. Motion control, etc. There are also some minigames. And it costs less than most fast food combo meals!

WiiWare: Dr. Mario Online Rx
Nintendo | Wii | Puzzle
It's Dr. Mario, except now with optional motion control of the pills and off- and online multiplayer. Not sure what else there is to say about it, except that the Dr. Mario addiction bug is harder to shake than whooping cough.

Wii VC: City Connection
Jaleco | NES via Wii | Arcade-style driving ... thing
Brave the multi-level streets of the world's cities as you try to paint them all and avoid the police. It's a platformer with a car, more or less. I have vague memories of playing it, but none of liking it.

Wii VC: Metal Slug
SNK | Neo-Geo via Wii | Well-animated side-scrolling action
Metal Slug is already available on the Wii, in the Metal Slug Anthology. And that's not even a rare game Amazon lists the thing for abour $30 as of this writing. So, do you pay $9 for one Metal Slug game or $30 for seven of them? If you answered the former, then I have a sealed copy of the North American version of Mother 3 to sell you.


Big in Japan: This Week's imports


Battle Fantasia
Success | DS | Oldest-school RPG ever
It's a fighting game from the creators of Guilty Gear. You know what that means: Sleek, high-res graphics and kinky characters who look seriously sexy. Until you realize they're actually boys under those miniskirts and are forced to soak your eyeballs in bleach until you die.

Front Mission 2089: Border of Madness
Success | DS | Oldest-school RPG ever
Now here's a game that won't be coming to the U.S. Every Front Mission bombs over here hardcore, and this one originated on a cell phone, so you can bet that'll fly like a lead zeppelin out West. However, it does raise the possibility of Final Fantasy IV: The After making its way to DS, which means someday you too could be enjoying some hot, hot ganguro dwarf action. Ugh, I just threw up a little.

Genmu No Kiri To Ken No Okite
Success | DS | Oldest-school RPG ever
You guys thought Etrian Odyssey was pretty hardcore, all hearkening back to the old days of PC RPGs with its first-person dungeon perspective, DIY party and unrelenting challenge. But little did you know it was hella newfangled compared to this little gem, which is so old-school it features a white-on-black wireframe mode. Respect.


Talk about how crappy these games are!