As seen in: Little Samson (NES)
Distinguishing feature: Green vest, carries lots of bells.
Strengths: Great at throwing bells, expert climber, makes friends easily.
Weaknesses: Comparisons to Mega Man, foods that arenít kosher.

Profile by Mike Zeller? | February 6, 2010

In the Bible, Samson was one of the Judges of Israel, a great warrior who led the Hebrews mainly by killing the holy hell out of their enemies. Much like all heroes, though, he was eventually brought down by a woman, Delilah, who tricked him into revealing his one weakness (cutting off his hair), thus allowing his foes to get the drop on him. He did get a pretty sweet final stand, though. Chained up, abused, and humiliated by his hated enemies, he called upon God to grant him strength one last time and pulled down the pillars supporting the roof of the temple, collapsing it on all within.

Samson, the star of Little Samson, has absolutely nothing to do with that. Unlike his older brother he isnít particularly strong, nor is his hair a long, luxurious mane like the one that granted Big S his power. He doesnít even rampage around the desert killing hundreds of Philistine soldiers with the jawbone of an ass, preferring instead to climb walls and whip bells at giant amoebas and evil wizards. He does chum around with a hulking golem, though, so I guess he hasnít abandoned his Jewish heritage entirely. In fact, making friends seems to be the only thing Little Samson is really good at. Along with the aforementioned Golem, Little S also has a small dragon and a tiny mouse that accompany him wherever he goes, occasionally taking his place when the situation gets hairy. Together, the four of them leap about on floating platforms and blast hideous monsters in a way that people totally shouldnít compare to Mega Man, because itís not like Mega Man at all, no sir.

Itís hard not to think that Little S must have been a bit of a disappointment to Big S. I imagine there must have been a day where on his way out the door, after throwing on his green vest in preparation for another busy afternoon of hucking bells at wizards, Little Samson was stopped by Big Samson, the elder wearing a look of annoyance and disapproval. ďYíknow, by the time I was your age Iíd already torn a lion in half and eaten honey out of the carcass. I didnít have time to climb around cave walls with dragons and mice,Ē he stated, arms folded across his chest. The younger Samson gave the older a withering stare brimming with resentment and stepped around him to exit the hut. As the older Samson watched the younger sprint off with his friends in pursuit of four messenger birds, he could only shake his head and sigh. What was wrong with kids these days? He then flew into a berserker rage and killed 600 Philistine lancers with a pair of salad tongs.

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