GameSpite | Issue Seven | As spring fades to summer, what better way to squander all that beautiful weather and waste your fleeting existence than by sitting inside all day reading about video games? Ah, sweet mortality.

Week One | May 12

I tend not to think of Battletoads as a video game but rather as an exquisitely-designed Skinner box to teach kids to hate games. Every playthrough is like receiving a vicious electric shock. And clearly, contributor CynicalValkyrie agrees, because now she associates games with suffering.

The (Almost) Making of Mythri, Pt. 1
Those of you who've been around for a while may recall an American-developed RPG for Game Boy Color called Mythri which, for various reasons, never came to fruition. Now that the game's director is a big-shot pro developer, he's penned a multi-part trip down memory lane to look at what almost was. (Also features a high-tech hub page!)

Week Two | May 19

Suikoden III
Contributor Kirin kicks off the Suikoden series hub page with a 21-paragraph salute to the third game in the series. (Disclaimer: May not be exactly 21 paragraphs.) The hub is bare except for this and that Luca Blight thing from last year, but just you wait until I find time to write a thesis on Suikoden II's brilliance.

I met the author of this article, wumpwoast, a couple of weeks ago. In very little time one truth became intensely evident: This is a man who really loves Wetrix. I think that wild-eyed enthusiasm comes through clearly in this article. Lock up your daughters, in other words.

Week Three | June 1

The (Almost) Making of Mythri, Part 2
Well, technically, Mythri has nothing whatsoever to do with Kojima. But the scenarist reveres him! Close enough? This lengthy update on the Game Boy RPG that never happened is the synopsis of a rather charming plot outline -- a cheerful romp through Japanese RPG clichés, penned before they were in fact clichéd. It would never fly now, but ten years ago? Almost cutting-edge!

Metal Gear Solid
This one turned out a bit more straightforward than I usually prefer, with an almost alarmingly small amount of stupid jokes and digressions. Sorry. This is basically an expanded version of the 400-word blurb I wrote on MGS for the 1UP franchise retrospective that'll be posted later this week, so that's probably why the tone is less, uh, obnoxious than usual.

And, finally, one Mr. blitzchamp pens an ode to Kojima's largely forgotten Sega CD adventure classic, Snatcher. Not that we want it to be forgotten. We'd collectively be very happy if Konami would take the trouble to reissue this (and Policenauts!) in the U.S. But no, it's destined to command big, dumb money forever on eBay, on a system no one owns (or wants). Jerks.

Week Four | June 8

Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved
Lumber Baron pens another essay on the intricacies of a seemingly shallow selection. It is a journey of discovery, bathed in the cool light of a living sheet of graph paper and many, many neon explosions.

Metal Gear
Please ignore the link text and article title. This is not really an article about Metal Gear. I'm not really sure what it is, to be honest. It started off with a small tangent, but then that tangent became the core of the article, and then the article never really went anywhere with the tangent. It is, in short, an aimless collection of words.

If you're looking for sailors, may I recommend visiting San Francisco during Fleet Week? Lots of action to be found there, I hear. Failing that, you could simply wander around virtual Yokosuka, quizzing everyone you meet. Kolbe tells us why Shenmue was better on paper than in silicon.

Official awesome Talking Time discussion thread for Issue Seven